


Conversation about Daniel

by gh0st_exe



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Neurodivergent Connor (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 20:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15299091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0st_exe/pseuds/gh0st_exe
Summary: Connor and Simon have a conversation about Daniel or lack thereof.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this deals with Connor's guilt after deceiving Daniel and seeing Daniel in Simon. So if you're not comfortable with guilt trips, please don't read. I don't want to cause any harm to you.

It was a conversation that Simon had went in blindly because Markus said he wanted to introduce him to someone who had helped their cause greatly.

He did not expect it was the Deviant Hunter.

But then life was full of surprises.

This just so happened to be one of them, whether Simon like it or not.

Connor was courteous and sympathetic at the start. Simon found that to be worldly different from the rumours of a cold-blooded hunter sent out by CyberLife. In a sense, Connor was starting to grow on Simon.

Connor was careful with his words, taking long pauses to evaluate what he was going to say next. His hands clasped and unclasped, fidgeted throughout their conversation. Simon had thought that they wanted to be busy, that conversations like what they were having were not what Connor was used to having.

They had talked about everything with each other. How they got to know Markus (Connor huffed, trying to suppress his laugh when Simon described how ungracefully Markus had fallen into Jericho, into his life); what animals do they like (Simon really wanted to meet this Sumo after the infodump that Connor subjected him to as his eyes seemed to sparkle with adoration); how long had they been deviants; etc.. Connor was beginning to express comfort around him.

And then the conversation took a turn for the worse when Connor blurted out-I’m sorry, Daniel. His body was shaking and his head was bowed. His LED had turned from a bright blue to a bright red. The sight broke Simon’s heart. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I shouldn’t have done that.” From what Simon could observe, Connor’s stress level was going up. Was he experiencing guilt?

Wasn’t Daniel that guy who-

“Connor.” Simon spoke as Connor rambled on inaudibly; his hands clasped uncomfortably tight together. He didn’t want to startle Connor or yell at him. “Connor.” He nudged Connor gently with his voice. The detective broke from his trance and look at Simon. His eyes looked dry; he couldn’t cry. “Connor, come here.” Simon opened his arms and Connor crashed into him. Simon could feel fingers digging painfully into his back. In return, he gently wrapped his arms around Connor and patted his head.

Connor’s tremors lessened as he dug his face into Simon’s shoulders. Simon could feel him mouthed apologies into his shoulder.

Simon hushed him gently, similarly to what he would with a child: gentle, reassuring, understanding. “It’s all right. You weren’t yourself then. You didn’t have the autonomy that you deserve to make your own decisions. It’s all right, Connor, it wasn’t your fault.”

The hug went on, with Simon rocking Connor back and forth in his arms. When Simon felt Connor was ready, he loosened his hold. He was right. Connor sat back but he didn’t dare to look Simon in the eye. His hands seemed unsure of what to do.

“I-I’m sorry, Simon.”

“Hey, hey. There isn’t a reason for you to apologize.” Simon smiled and held Connor’s hands, causing the latter to look up. “I don’t know what happened between you and Daniel. But you were not yourself then. Those were not your decisions. They were CyberLife’s.” Connor nodded along with his words. “I’m pretty sure Daniel would forgive you.”

“I’m not so sure. I lied to him.” Reluctance laced Connor’s words and demeanour. He seemed uncomfortable to talk to Simon about the matter of Daniel.

“I understand what you’re going through. I am not claiming I know it. But I don’t want you to force yourself to talk to me about things you are uncomfortable with. Just know that I’m here for you and if you need me, give me a thought.” Simon tapped his temple and laughed at his own awkwardness. 

Connor relaxed at his reassurance, even returning a smile to Simon.  

They were off to a rough start but they weren’t going to give up on trying just yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They "talked" about it.

“Simon?” It was the fifth time they met alone or, as Simon saw it, the fifth date. They were heading to this newly opened cat cafe that also served as a painting workshop.

“Yes, Connor?” They decided to sit at a table near the window. A small grey kitten jumped onto Simon’s lap and began pawing for attention. He scratched behind her ear and she purred in appreciation.

“I think I’m ready to talk about Daniel.”

“Oh.” Simon was taken aback. Granted it had been around two months since their first conversation where Daniel was brought up. He didn’t expect Connor to be ready so soon, or at all. He had assumed that Daniel would never be brought up again.

Truth to be told, Simon had done his own research on Daniel. He needed to know so as to not do something that could trigger Connor in any of their interactions. He had learned that they were of the same “model”, PL-600 (Simon mentally winced. He hated using that language to describe himself and his people). Simon could understand why he would remind Connor of Daniel.

Simon picked up the kitten in his lap to move his seat closer to Connor. The latter also made attempt to be closer to him, but they still kept a respectable distance between each other. A waiter came by to take their orders. They both ordered a Blue Surprise.

Connor felt comforted by the distance. His mind pulled out the “speech” he had memorised for this conversation. But he fumbled with his words, unable to find the words he had so carefully planned.

How would he tell Simon that he saw Daniel in him? That every time he looked at Simon’s gentle face, a part of him remembered the tortured look of Daniel on that ledge? That every time Connor made eye contact with Simon, he saw confusion, pain, and fear in a pair similar to Simon’s? That every time Simon trusted him, his mind rewound how Daniel did the same with his own life? That every time he saw Simon, another part reminded him of that destroyed balcony and Simon was there instead of Daniel? And one small step but a wrong one could prove fatal?

_Connor promised to keep Daniel alive and he broke that promise._

Simon probably knew about Daniel by now, considering how excessively he had apologised to Daniel when it was Simon in front of him. Connor didn’t believe he had left a good impression. He fidgeted again. He was contemplating taking out his coin out from his left pocket, but wouldn’t that seem rude? He noticed he did that thing again, where he would clench and unclench his hand restlessly, but he couldn’t stop. His words died at the tip of his tongue (a very human reaction when confronted with hesitation, apparently). Connor was aware that he was only sitting there as Simon was getting increasingly concerned. Both of their stress levels were rising. Out from the corner of his eyes, the waiter came scuttling by to drop their orders.

_He neither wanted to hurt Simon nor wanted to see him walk away._

“Connor.” Simon’s left hand was still occupied with scratching behind the kitten’s ears, but his body language spoke of how Connor had his full attention. This made Connor feel prideful somewhat because he had beaten the kitten in garnering Simon’s attention. But at the same time, he still didn’t know what to say to Simon.

“Yes?”

“Would you like to show me instead?” Simon reached out his hand to Connor. The synthetic skin slowly retreated to reveal the white plastic underneath. Connor did the same to his hands and took Simon’s hand between his. Connor brought it to his chest and curled into it. He didn’t want to let go.

The memory had seemed so detached to him before November of 2038. But after he had woken up and began to know Simon better, they were “corrupted”, so to speak, with Connor’s fear and pain and hauntings and regrets and, and, and…

He didn’t mean to. He was just following orders. Orders from an oppressive company with an AI designed to “handle” him. He didn’t like how he felt Amanda had treated him: like a useful appendage until proven otherwise. He hated thinking that he was nothing more than what he was designed to do and exist without a single regard for other people. Connor wasn’t willing to relive those regrets and traumas again, especially with different people.

Connor hated these intrusive thoughts. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to forget these memories, experiences. They were what made him human, no matter how crass they may seem.

At the same time, Connor didn’t know what to do with this freedom to exist, to feel. He didn’t know how he could use it. He just knew he didn’t want to exist without caring about Hank, about Sumo, about Callum, about Simon. He wanted to  _live_ with them. That he knew. Especially with Simon, he wanted to  _live_  with Simon. He wanted to see Simon happy and successful, however abstract that concept is. He wanted to see Simon smile. He wanted to introduce Simon to Hank and Sumo. He wanted to share the things he had with Simon, the feeling of ruffling Sumo’s hair and playing with him, having weird “pop culture” conversations with Hank, trash-talking Detective Reed with Callum.

He wanted to share his life with Simon.

These feelings were overwhelming him. Heck, feelings were overwhelming but Connor didn’t want to be alone to figure out a way with them.

A hand rested on top of his.

_“Me too, Connor.”_ Simon smiled at him.  _“I’d very much like to share my life with you, too.”_

 


End file.
